IMMEDIATE RELEASE: April 17, 2003
Contact: Corrie Prutspin, firstname.lastname@example.org
Group Gets New Rival
New Tobacco Company, Licensed to Kill, Inc,
Incorporated in the State of Virginia
Aims to Kill Over 400,000 Americans
and 4.5 Million Other People Worldwide Annually
VA - Today, Licensed to Kill, Inc, the world's newest multinational
tobacco company, publicly announced its incorporation with the
launch of the company's website: www.licensedtokill.biz.
to Kill, Inc, was officially incorporated in the state of Virginia
on March 19, 2003. The company's purpose, as stated in its articles
of incorporation, is "the manufacture and marketing of tobacco
products in a way that each year kills over 400,000 Americans
and 4.5 million other persons worldwide."
to Kill, Inc is pretty much like any other tobacco company. We
kill to make a profit," said LtK CEO Rich Fromdeth "The
main difference is that we're very upfront about our purpose,
and this is reflected in our name."
name "Licensed to Kill" derives from the Latin words
'licere' and 'caedere', meaning 'permission to kill'," says
Corrie Prutspin, Senior VP of Corporate Communications, "The
name connotes an enterprise that is fully authorized by the state
to aim for peak performance and constant improvement in killing
new company is banking on its brutal honesty to spare itself from
the multitude of lawsuits currently plaguing other companies within
the industry. Many of these lawsuits have centered on the tobacco
industry's long history of lies and deception about the deadly
nature of the business.
would like to especially thank the Commonwealth of Virginia's
State Corporation Commission for granting us permission to exist,"
says company Director Gray Vastone, "If a person was to ask
the state for authorization to go on a serial killing rampage,
he would surely be locked up in jail or a mental institution.
Luckily, such moral standards do not apply to corporations."
to Kill's initial line of cigarettes includes: Global Massacre,
Serial Killer, Genocide, and WOMD, with plans to add Throat Hole,
Chemo, Grim Reaper, and Morgue shortly. The company's official
motto is: "We're rich, you're dead!"
a certified copy of Licensed to Kill, Inc's articles of incorporation
additional information about Licensed to Kill, Inc, visit our