We're Rich, You're Dead!

Contact: Corrie Prutspin, Senior VP of Corporate Communications


Licensed to Kill Calls for 'More Smoke, Less Health!'

WASHINGTON, DC - Executives of the Virginia-based tobacco company Licensed to Kill, Inc are in the nation's capitol today to lobby DC city council member Jim Graham against supporting smokefree workplace legislation. Graham (Ward 1), who has not yet made up is mind how he will vote
, is holding a town hall forum on the legislation at the Lincoln Theater this evening.

"We presume that Mr. Graham has been receiving considerable mail in support of the legislation," said Licensed to Kill's Chairman and CEO Rich Fromdeth, "but if he cares at all about the health of the tobacco industry, he will take a stand for maintaining the smoky status quo."

"Washington, DC remains a critical east coast haven for tobacco smoke pollution," continued Fromdeth, "Practically the entire northeast has become a smokefree zone -- Delaware, New York, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and most recently Vermont . Even nearby Montgomery county has banished the carcinogenic plumes of our industry's poison puffs. This has got to stop! If DC stands firm, perhaps the clean indoor air zone can be contained and prevented from spreading further south."

"Many restaurant and bar workers and patrons seem to have a bone to pick about Class A (the deadliest!) carcinogens wafting in the air," said Cora Prutspin, Licensed to Kill's Senior VP of Corporate Communications, "The solution is really quite simple: just don't breathe! Our research indicates it is possible to chow down, guzzle drinks and not breathe far longer than commonly thought. In fact, many of our own best customers have stopped breathing all together."

"Honestly, who really cares if tobacco smoke pollution kills a few bartenders and waiters? We're glad that Carol Schwartz doesn't," continued Prutspin, "It's time that Council Member Graham stop teeter tottering on the fence and accept that these deaths are merely the unfortunate, but inevitable, collateral damage of the liberty to pollute, er smoke free-ly, in workplaces."

"Unlike our industry rival, Altria (parent company of Philip Morris) which gave the Metropolitan Restaurant Association of Washington $10,000 for its awards ceremony last week, Licensed to Kill believes in direct lobbying," said Virginia Slime, Senior VP of Marketing, "That's why we're attending the forum today -- no third party front groups for us!"

"Why do we care so much? Bad air means good business for us. The more workplaces where people can smoke, the more cigarettes sold, the more money we make," said Slime, "Smokefree legislation is spreading like wildfire across the country. We need to stub it out - the legislation that is, NOT the cigarettes."


About Licensed to Kill: Licensed to Kill, Inc is a real company. It was incorporated in the U.S. state of Virginia in March 2003. The purpose of the company, as stated in its articles of incorporation is "to manufacture and market tobacco products in a way that each year kills over 400,000 Americans and 4.5 million other persons worldwide." The company's slogan is: We're Rich, You're Dead! ™ For more information about Licensed to Kill visit www.licensedtokill.biz

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of the contents of www.licensedtokill.biz, as well as the behavior of our company and its public statements.