IMMEDIATE RELEASE: April 22, 2003
Contact: Corrie Prutspin, email@example.com
TO KILL, INC CONSIDERS RELOCATING HEADQUARTERS
TO GREATER RICHMOND
Seeks $30+ Million Incentive Package
From the Commonwealth of Virginia
-- The world's newest multinational corporation, Licensed to Kill,
Inc, announced today that it is seeking a $30+ million incentive
package from the state of Virginia to relocate in the greater
we have our eyes on the capitol building itself, but are willing
to settle for the Governor's mansion," said CEO Rich Fromdeth,
"After all, Governor Warner has been quite hospitable to
the tobacco industry of late."
March 4, Governor Warner and Philip Morris USA announced that
the company had finally been lured to Virginia, from its Park
Avenue headquarters in new York. According to a press release
issued by the Office of the Governor, Philip Morris USA qualifies
for a $25 million performance-based grant from the Virginia Investment
Partnership (VIP) program. In return, Philip Morris USA will create
450 jobs in the Richmond area, with an annual payroll of $83 million.
Governor does not seem to have taken into account how many people
the tobacco industry kills annually in Virginia with its products,
nor how much money residents of Virginia spend on tobacco-related
medical expenses each year," said Licensed to Kill, Inc Director
Gray Vastone, "That bodes well for our own relocation initiative."
order to boost its chances for a favorable relocation incentive
package, Licensed to Kill, Inc plans to invest $1 million into
local Richmond charities.
a tried and true way of showing that, despite our company's intent
to kill 4.9 million people annually, we're really a good corporate
citizen," said Corrie Prutspin, Senior VP of Corporate Communications
for Licensed to Kill, "Every dollar we donate buys us the
freedom to continue business as usual."
March 18, 2003, Associated Press headlines reported "Virginia
is for Philip Morris; Richmond giddy to be new home of cigarette
maker." If all goes well for Licensed to Kill, Inc, the headlines
will soon read "Virginia is for Licensed to Kill."